What is the ultimate goal in a relationship?

Couple in a park. Woman in a gray coat. Man with his wife
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Are you a details person, or a big picture person? Either way, if you haven’t considered what the main goal, or goals, of your relationship with your significant other are, or should be, then you probably should carve out some time to work on putting this into words. It’s a proven fact that writing down intentions and goals makes a person, a couple, or even an entire organization much more likely to succeed in realizing those goals.

Here are some guidelines to consider as you discover how to put your relationship goal(s) into words:

Physical intimacy

Obviously, physical intimacy may wax and wane a bit with seasons, children, etc., but a goal in a long-term relationship is surely to enjoy each other physically and find ways to keep this exciting and satisfying to both partners over time. It can take work to keep the momentum going.

Emotional intimacy

Young smiling couple in bed having fun covered with soft warm blanket duvet, happy playful millennial carefree lovers relaxing in comfortable bed enjoying good morning looking at each other with love

Being able to confide in one another and feel like what you say is safe, not going to be told to others nor turned against you, and falls on empathetic and caring ears is a major benefit to a long-term relationship. It’s the daily life things, after all, that build emotional connections.

Self-discovery by reflection

Sometimes just sharing daily life over time with the feedback of your partner can help you to discover things about yourself – whether these are things you’d like to change, or things that you never realized before and now appreciate. This can lead to personal growth.

Soul growth

The beautiful family praying at the christmas table

Even if a person (or both people in a couple) doesn’t consider themselves to be especially “religious” it might be good to consider what your beliefs are regarding spirituality, religion, and growth in matters of perspective, resiliency, and perseverance, which might be said to be rooted in the more spiritual side of humans.

Functional growth into roles

Happy young couple preparing food in kitchen at home. Healthy food, people concept

There’s something special about watching two people who can cook a meal together, build a piece of Ikea furniture together, or do their various parts in the household to make it a home without much friction or chaos.

Support of each others’ goals, interests

While you should have your own goals and interests in a long-term relationship, it’s always great to realize the need to support your partner’s goals and interests, both along the way in daily life, and also by celebrating the wins and big moments.

Shared activities and interests developed

Putting time into creating shared interests and activities certainly helps with creating memories, a bond, and a sense of working together toward a common goal. Finding things you both enjoy even as your seasons and interests change might be a bit of a challenge at times, but you can find these things and put effort into making time to explore what you both love.

Community betterment

A great way to ensure your relationship is headed toward an ultimately larger goal is to focus on the betterment of your community, together. Take on a project, volunteer together, work on solving a problem that you see – and watch as your bond grows stronger along the way. Some suggestion might be looking into ways to support foster care families and children; Habitat for Humanity; build a little library exchange box at a park; help with neighborhood events; mentor youths; find young families to invest time and energy into; serve at a soup kitchen; volunteer at a church for a summer Vacation Bible School;  volunteer to read to kids at a school for an hour; get a group together and repair a neighbor’s home or help with their yard in a time of need – there are always ways to help others no matter how much or little you have.

The main goal of a relationship should center around ensuring that you both as individuals, as well as a couple, are constantly being nurtured and growing. Set your main goal and other goals under that umbrella of a sort to cover different aspects of your lives, strengths, weaknesses, and interests, so that you are constantly connected to one another in new ways. You don’t have to lose yourself in a relationship; the best relationships just make you more and more of who you are already meant to become.

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