You may already be in a good place in your relationship, or even a great place. This doesn’t mean that you can’t take a few steps to improve your relationship even further, though.
As a matter of fact, we should always be working to better our relationships no matter how good or great the relationship.
So, if you’re one of those people who is consistently looking for ways to better your relationship, here are just a few options. And if you can incorporate more than one of the below options into your relationship, even better!
1. Spend Time Apart
This seems like the opposite of what you should be doing in order to improve your relationship, right? However, while it’s obviously necessary to spend time with your partner—you chose them as a partner for a reason—it is just as important to spend time on your own, as well.
Spending time on your own will allow both you and your partner to take up personal hobbies or go to places that, perhaps, the other partner just does not wish to go. When partners do not feel that they have the freedom to do the things that make them happy, this can occasionally cause resentment within the relationship.
Time spent alone is also time for personal growth. It can sometimes be difficult to grow in the direction you wish to grow if you consistently have your partner at your side. This is why working—as in going to the same place of work—with your partner can sometimes be difficult, too.
Like Ernest Hemingway says in “Men Without Women”: “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” What Hemingway is urging us to do, here, is keep in touch with ourselves just as much as we keep in touch with our partners.
As we should!
2. Make a Game Plan for Handling Arguments
Arguing is a normal part of all relationships—even healthy relationships—but if arguing is slowly picking away at your relationship and causing tension between you and your partner, then one easy way to improve your relationship is to make a game plan for handling arguments.
A game plan could consist of any technique that you and your partner both believe would be beneficial to implement when an argument occurs and could include anything from sitting down and letting one partner talk while the other simply listens, writing down your feelings and letting your partner read them during an argument, or going on separate walks to gather your thoughts and then discussing those gathered thoughts with your partner when you both return.
What a game plan ultimately does is provides an understanding of what must happen to resolve an argument. If you and your partner stick to the game plan for all arguments, then it’s possible that disputes will be resolved quicker over time.
3. Make Timeto Talk
In order to improve your relationship overall and, again, reduce the amount of time you spend arguing with your partner, it might be beneficial to decide upon a time when you and your partner can sit down and just talk to each other at least once a week. Maybe even once a day, if you can both afford the time.
This time should be used to discuss any and all things that might be bothering you or your partner. This does not necessarily mean that you must use this time to tell your partner what they are doing wrong—though you could use this time for that if you feel necessary—rather it should be used as a time to reconnect with your partner, share your experiences of the day or week, and enjoy one another’s company.
4. Accept Each Other
If your partner feels that you are not really accepting them for who they are, then learning to accept them and telling them you accept them will improve your relationship tenfold.
Let’s say you have a partner who is socially anxious, and they cannot attend large gatherings. Your partner always tells you to go to events and such on your own because they are just not able to handle the noise and socializing that is to be expected at large gatherings. It is likely that your partner may feel that you are upset with them in this case because they cannot go out and socialize with you in the way they would like.
In this case, you should tell your partner that you love and accept them just the way they are, and that you understand that they are socially anxious. Your partner will probably feel relief when they hear these words and that—in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert—”To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
If you cannot accept and love your partner for who they are, then you may need to reconsider why you are choosing to stay with them.
5. Spice Up the Bedroom
Your relationship might seem perfect in almost every way possible: You share similar interests with your partner, you have the same social and political views, you even like the same movies and novels. The only problem is—you guessed it—the bedroom is getting boring!
This happens over time in many relationships.
If this is the case in your own relationship, then you can improve your relationship by spicing things up in the bedroom. This might include doing some role-playing with your partner—there are plenty of shops where you can find costumes and other props—or even doing something as simple as putting on some music while you and your partner “get jiggy with it,” for lack of a better phrase.
It is also best to discuss these types of desires with your partner beforehand instead of just showing up in the bedroom in costume or blaring baby-making music as this might have the opposite effect on your partner and just scare them away!
- A simple guide to improving your relationship
- 10 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Relationship Right Now
- Men Without Women Quotes
- Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert