Picture this: You’re in a local coffee shop—a hot cup of coffee in hand—and you gaze across the room and see the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen sitting alone. You notice her looking up at you every now and then, sometimes giving you a smile.
You want to go over and introduce yourself, but you’re unsure if the signs she’s been giving you are actually signs.
What are you to do in this situation?
Well, even though Belgian musician Brian Molko notes that “when it comes to desire, when it comes to attraction…things are never black and white, things are very much shades of grey,” there are some pretty clear signs that a woman gives off when she is attracted or interested in you.
So, keep your eyes peeled for these telltale signs.
1. She Smiles at You
A simple smile may be all you need to feel that you can approach that beautiful woman sitting across from you in the coffee shop. In the words of Mother Teresa—and we all know that she is a trustworthy source of wisdom—“the smile is the beginning of love.”
Be aware of the different types of smiles that women can give off, though, as they have different meanings.
If a woman gives you a shy little smile—maybe we’d call it a smirk—while carefully tucking her hair back behind one of her ears, then it’s likely a sign that she’s at least somewhat attracted to you and wouldn’t mind if you approached her.
On the polar opposite end of the smile spectrum, if she’s giving you an almost forced-looking smile accompanied by a slight eyebrow raise, then she might just be wondering why you’re staring at her and, perhaps, if you could stop staring at her.
It takes some time to learn to differentiate between the different types of smiles a woman can give you, but it’s worth the time and effort to try and figure it out.
2. She Blushes when You Look at Her
Blushing—you know that thing that happens when blood rushes into your cheeks and turns them pink or red—can be an indicator of several different feelings such as embarrassment, anger, or overheating.
Blushing can also indicate nervousness and fatal attraction: The two go hand-in-hand.
So, if you work up the courage to approach that beautiful woman in the coffee shop—after she smiles at you, of course—and you start chatting her up only to find that her face begins to flush with color, this could be a good sign that she’s attracted to you.
And if she starts to get nervous and stumbles over some of her words, then this is an even better sign. You might just be giving her those butterflies in her stomach that we’ve all heard so much about.
However, if you start talking to a woman and it becomes very obvious that her blushing and nervous demeanor are probably a result of shyness or social anxiety, then maybe it would be best for you to give her some space.
3. She Lightly Touches You
Let’s say you’re still talking to that beautiful woman in the coffee shop, and she begins to lightly touch you as she speaks. This is an apparent sign of attraction on her part: She is interested enough in you—and comfortable enough with you—to gently caress your shoulder or even place her hand on top of yours.
Be wary of the gentle nudging and pushing, though, as this could indicate that she is not particularly attracted or interested in you and just wants you to, well, go away.
4. She Can’t Stop Fidgeting
When do you usually fidget?
Most people often find themselves fidgeting when they either become nervous or aroused. For example, you might recall fidgeting while giving a class presentation in high school or middle school: You’re up in front of your teacher and peers—nervous beyond belief—and you start fidgeting with your hands or tapping your toe involuntarily.
The same type of thing can happen when you’re attracted to someone.
So, we’re back in the coffee shop, you’re chatting up that beautiful woman, and you notice her playing with the fringe of her blouse, twirling her necklace, or repeatedly touching her hair and placing it behind one of her ears. These are signs that she’s nervous, but in a good way.
In fact, if you’re attracted to her—and we’re assuming you are because you walked over to her and introduced yourself—then she’s probably noticing that you’re fidgeting just as much as she is!
5. She Shows Genuine Interest in You
When trying to determine whether or not this woman at the coffee shop is legitimately attracted to you, pay close attention to the details of your conversation.
If she’s maintaining eye contact with you, then she’s likely attracted to you. On the other hand, if she’s looking all over the room, maybe she’s just looking for an out and she’s not as interested as you initially thought.
If she’s actually trying to engage in the conversation—she’s giving you lengthy personal responses to your questions and asking you insightful questions in return—then that’s definitely a sign of attraction: She’s trying to get to know you better. You should be concerned if she’s almost non-responsive or giving you one word answers to your questions as this may be her way of telling you that she doesn’t find you attractive and to—once again—go away.
Before even approaching the beautiful woman in the coffee shop, it might be helpful to take a moment to think about the signs you usually give off when you find someone attractive because it’s likely that she may very well give off the same signals as you!